Like a Monday

Sometimes morning starts two hours too soon and the wake up call is the corner of a board book right in your eye (thanks, James).

There’s another cup of coffee in my future.

“Picnic” on a blanket in the family room happening right now. And will probably still be happening in 3 hours.

 
We will totally survive this day.

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Oh my…

Things you don’t want to see when you poke your head out of the shower:

Your precious, most beautiful two year old daughter sitting on the floor of the bathroom, on top of your underwear from yesterday, trying to pull said dirty underwear out from under her and on to her feet.

“Ellie, sweet pea, leave Mama’s underwear alone, please.”

No response.

“Eleanor. Please, stop what you’re doing.”

Struggles harder. Then gives up.

“Thank you for listening to me.”

Congratulate yourself for having a two year old who obeys you. Some of the time. Once in a while. Once a week?

Listen as two year old starts throwing your discarded clothes around the bathroom. At least she’s not trying to put your underwear on anymore.

Continue the last few minutes of your shower in peace. Get out, dry off and then be greeted by your precious, lovely two year old daughter who is wearing your underwear around her neck like a necklace.

Can’t win them all!
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You might be a mom if…

– you have said curses about those stinkin cat naps
– you have turned more than one item of clothing into a makeshift burp cloth
– “go touch up my face before we leave” really means refreshing yesterday’s make-up
– you’ve caught vomit with any part of your body
-you’ve pulled open the back of someone’s pants or lifted someone’s butt to your face to check for poop and there was nothing awkward going on
– you have emptied your bladder to the best of your ability only to bend down a minute later to pick up a child and have a little pee escape onto your last clean pair of underwear (ok look, I’m not saying it happened to me, but I’m not saying it hasn’t happened a few times to me either. Not lately, of course, because I am sooo caught up on laundry and also it’s been a few months since that happened, ok?)
– you’ve stayed up way too late looking at photos of your kids on your phone because holy cow! you miss them and they’ve only been asleep 12 minutes
– you assess various parts of your body to figure out what needs to be washed, shaved or scrubbed immediately during this shower and what can wait a few days because you probably only have about 5 minutes before the baby wakes up
– you’ve taken a selfie to see if baby is awake or asleep on your shoulder

Processed with Moldiv
– you’ve stayed up way past your bedtime googling symptoms and then struggled to bring things back down to planet earth and not wake up your husband to see if he agrees with your diagnosis/paranoia
– you’ve had to excuse yourself from the dining table because your boobs were leaking on your lap
– you’ve cried over spilled milk because ALL THAT PUMPING FOR NOTHING
– a trip to Target by yourself is both wildly liberating and absolutely weird

Mama friends, anything you’d like to add?
Dads out there, what are some things on your “you know you’re a dad if…” list?

Peanut butter power ‘stache

“You have the most adorable little Chex Mix beard…”
” – and peanut butter mustache!”

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The weather on Sunday was absolutely out of this world amazing. And it couldn’t have come at a better time.

Last week was rough. It started last Sunday with a bad fall and massive black eye for Ellie, then she got a fever and sinus infection, James and I got a nasty cold virus that we’re still trying to get rid of, Ellie threw some of her most terrible tantrums and was sent to time-out more times than I count, James stopped napping because he couldn’t breathe through congestion and Ellie finished the day yesterday with a trip to the ER with nursemaid’s elbow. Enough!

On top of everything else it rained for a good portion of the week, so even had we been healthy we still would have been stuck inside. But y’all. In the weirdest way I’m thankful for those difficult days because God used them for his glory and we are reminded of his faithfulness and renewed by his perfect provision. In hindsight we are more appreciative of those times, of course, because in the moment we are boohoo-ing our little eyes out (and by “we” I mostly mean me and the toddler).

We were incredibly thankful to see the sun and to be able to spend some much needed time outside! It was unbelievably beautiful. We packed our picnic basket that Uncle Duck and Aunt Jelly gave us for Christmas and ate on the deck.

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It was perfect.

Time Out

Mike took Ellie to run errands this morning so that James and I can wallow in our congestion, coughing and irritableness on our own.

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Thankful for his thoughtfulness.

I’m not sure Ellie and I would have survived each other one more day. I can only put one of us in time out so many times before it’s just ridiculous and she’s not responsible enough to watch the baby while I serve my time out (two year olds, why aren’t they more reliable? )

Cabin fever just does not suit us.

Gosh I miss her. I hope they get home soon.

Things I never thought I would say

Being a mom changes things. Is that an understatement? Too obvious?

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Well, it’s true. There have been so many things that I never in my wildest dreams imagined would come out of someone’s mouth – let alone mine! Husband and I started a list of some of the absurd things we’ve said since becoming parents. Here are the highlights:

-“Please don’t rub peanut butter in your eye.”
-“Shoes are not supposed to be tasty. Take your foot out of your mouth, please!”
-“Please don’t put your head in the cheese.”
-“Pizza does not go on your forehead.”
“Oh, thank you. I love slobbery B’s.”
-“Ah ah! No ma’am. Uh. That doesn’t mean stick your other finger in the other hole.”
-“You painted yourself with basil pesto…guess it’s real bath night after all.”
-“You have spaghetti in your leg creases.”
-“Why are you rubbing Cheeto dust on your feet?”
-“Do not lick the toilet seat. Do NOT lick the toilet seat!…STOP licking the toilet seat!”

With that last one I was trying to find the most humane way to disinfect Eleanor’s mouth, but couldn’t come up with any answers because all I wanted to do was grab the Lysol or some whiskey and there was no way either one was going to happen. The good news is that she didn’t get sick and she’s doing just fine now.

What are some of the stranger things you’ve said or heard someone else say to a little one?