You’ve Called the Wrong House

I almost never answer the home phone.

Generally when it rings, I cringe and pretend I don’t hear it – 99% of the time it’s a sales call even though we’re on the Do Not Call List. Haters gonna hate.

On the rare occasions that I do answer the phone it’s because I’ve been away from my mobile and I figure that it’s probably Husband calling because I didn’t answer. Anyway, because the home phone started ringing exactly as I was walking by it this afternoon, I went ahead and answered it.

Me: Hello?

Caller: Hello? Ma’am? (Definitely a sales call. Crackly line, stroooong Indian accent)

Me: Hi. Who’s calling?

Caller: Hi, I’m calling from IT Solutions. This is a very important call because you have a virus on your computer.

Me: Oh, I do?

Caller: Ma’am, yes. This is a very serious matter. If you will turn on your computer and open your web browser I can help you detect and get rid of this harmful virus.

Me: Oh, really? And what kind of computer do I have?

Caller: (Must be thinking he hit the idiot jackpot) Ma’am. You are running Windows Operating System. This is a very serious virus. Please let me help you by turning on your computer and opening your web browser.

Me: Umm, no. We’re not running Windows in our home. We use iOS. And, this number is on the Do Not Call List. If you call here again we’ll press charges, so please –

Caller: *click*


I had a good laugh afterwards.

When I used to babysit in junior high and high school, if a sales person would call I would put the phone on the floor in the kitchen or living room (where ever it was hanging) and we would all sing the hokey pokey at the top of our lungs. Trust me, it was fun!


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