I went to service today for the first time in a few months. I do really enjoy working in the children’s ministry even though I complain about it pretty often. There’s just something about 12 four-year-old children that really wears a person out.
I was talking with my roommate last night about how I’ve felt disconnected from the body of the church because I typically go to my preschool class and then to my Sunday school class. Starving is the word I used. Outside of my quiet times, I’m getting no nourishment. And I literally feel like I’m starving.
So being able to go to service today was really rewarding.
Can you sense that there is a “however” coming? And a relatively big however at that. I really enjoyed going to service today, however I feel like there was something important left out of the sermon. The clarification that was needed to help people remember that our God is a good God. He is the definition of good. My feeling is that the sermon made him out to be a mean old miser. The context of the sermon is this: David wanted to build a palace for God. God spoke to the prophet Nathan in a dream and told him that David was not to be the one to fulfill that dream because he had killed too many people. It was still a good thing to desire and dream of, but he wasn’t made for that. God took away David’s dream essentially. David responded well; he became content with his situation and He held on to God’s sovereignty and His intentions though David got nothing out of the promise.
I had two conversations afterward with people who took away the meaning to be that whatever their dreams are, even if they are with godly intentions, that’s not what’s meant for them and God won’t fulfill that dream. That God will take away that dream. I disagree.
I wish there had been more on the fact that some of our deepest desires and dreams are from God and that he very much wants to fulfill them. I refer to the dreams that are born out of godly desires and not our sinful nature. We often don’t pray about those things because we’re afraid they will be taken away. But that’s not necessarily true! If we are living our lives in such a way that we are seeking God’s will above our own and searching for His will in our lives, He very often places desires within us and then fulfills them when we lay them at His feet and trust Him for those things. Our God is a good God. We serve a mighty King; vengeance is His, yes, and there will be justice for those who do not know Him, but I am His child. I stand redeemed because of the sacrifice of Christ’s blood, and I claim an inheritance from the Lord God Almighty. And He disciplines me, of course, because I really need it. But He loves me. And He wants to answer the desires of my heart. I trust Him with those very precious dreams of mine; the ones I hardly admit to myself because I’m afraid that they will get crushed. God’s word tells us to “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4. I feel it’s true that if we are delighting ourselves in the Lord He also becomes the desire of our hearts.
Is it not undermining God and who He is by believing that He will take away our dreams just because we have them? Can we not instead hold them up to Him and believe, in faith and obedience, that His will shall be done and that He might just answer them?
Bah, this is one of those topics that I feel like I’m not communicating well on at all. There is an immense amount of things I want to say on this but it’s hard to touch on everything and decide where to begin. I need to listen to it again and see if I walk away with the same perceptions. Suffice it to say for now: I wish the sermon had offered more on God; who He is and what He’s like, instead of confusing people as to what He will do. God will not crush your desires just because you have those dreams. It may very well be that He wants to answer them beyond your wildest imagination but you possess such little faith that you will never see God answer them. Believe little, see little.
Believe BIG. Then keep your eyes open.