This morning I woke up at 4 with a nightmare.
I don’t have nightmares. Ever. Honestly. This was probably the first nightmare I can remember in years. It was crazy, and I still remember it vividly. When I woke up, I was about to be knifed to death in the women’s bathroom at the police department with a scalpel by an escaped prisoner that I helped put away. So many questions arise from that! How did the prisoner escape in the police department, how did he get a scalpel, how did I help put him away, why a nightmare??
I think it all has to do with stress (And I watched Batman Begins last night before bed and it was a little action packed/dark). I am a little (understatement) stressed at the mo.
This morning I woke up (again) at 7:58 (on the dot) because I was worried about oversleeping my registration time. No worries everyone, I got all my classes! Then I called the Students A/R Office to see how my loan processing was coming along because I’ve been waiting to hear from them. A really nice, helpful girl answered and it was such a relief to talk to someone. I’ve been calling them for days and it’s always been a busy signal. I guess you have to call at 8:15 am to get through. Anyways, she informed me that they have a new policy for my type of loan and that I have to print out a form from their website, fill it out, and bring it in. FYI, my printer will only print things that are not intended to be black ink. Yes that’s right, I thought I was screwed. And I panicked. And in my frustration I lost my voice. In the end, it all worked out. Mummy helped to save the day, and I got a tuition loan from the school to secure my registration until my loan clears.
Then I got to wondering why God keeps testing me like this. It took me a good 20 high-stress-level minutes of freaking out to turn and be like “Ok God, I’ll let you deal with this because OBVIOUSLY I am incapable.” I hate that my first thought isn’t to turn to him. Actually when I first tried my printer I was fervently praying that it would work, but no dice. Then I panicked and called my dad who didn’t really have time to figure things out because he was preparing for a presentation that he was giving this morning in a meeting. His help was unavailable. So I called me mum, and she made me calm down and see reason. But it was just one of those visible calm downs so that people around me think I’m ok, I was still pretty anxious on the inside. All that to say, that once I realized I wasn’t depending on God for the solution and I was able to pray about it and turn the reins over to him, my stress dissipated and I was able to think clearly and see that all is not lost. And he keeps testing me like this because I keep panicking first instead of praying. At least one letter of my immediate reaction is right: the P. I got the ‘P’ part right. I just need to learn to follow the ‘P’ with ‘rayer’ instead of ‘anic.’ I hope that made sense because it made so much sense in my head.
Anyways, all that to say, it’s been an eventful morning. I’m heading home this afternoon to get a few things that I forgot to bring up when I moved. I’m also getting a hair cut, and packing up Bailey’s mice and toys and moving him to Austin. Yay! I’m most excited about that. I hope he likes it though.